Archive for January, 2010

S.C. Lieutenant Governor Makes Spot On Remark. Liberals Start to Cry.

So apparently, making an obvious and truthful statement makes you a terrible person. So say liberals who called out the lieutenant governor of South Carolina, Andre Bauer. He made a remark about the majority of people who are on welfare in this country. While Governor Mark Sanford was eating Argentinian, Bauer said this:

“My grandmother was not a highly educated woman, but she told me as a small child to quit feeding stray animals. You know why? Because they breed! You’re facilitating the problem if you give an animal or a person ample food supply. They will reproduce, especially ones that don’t think too much further than that.”

Read the full article here. Now, you and I both know that this was taken out of context to hyperbolic levels. Does any intelligent person actually think that he meant that people on welfare are animals? Really? I bet you also think that Budweiser is the “King of Beers”. Why do people always jump to the farthest extreme? Is it so hard to think that he’s just saying that the current state of welfare in this country is just breeding more welfare? I completely agree with that statement. Maybe he’s just using something that his grandmother said to him as an analogy to the ridiculous amount of money that’s being fed to people who will only spend it, and grovel for more (with an egregious sense of entitlement, no less).

Let me make myself very clear. I have no problem helping people who are down on their luck. I do it in my everyday life, and I support the government having a program to do it. What I do have a problem with, is the abuse of freebies that seem to come along with our current welfare system. I also have a problem with giving money to people who don’t even try to get jobs, who just keep having children, who buy all sorts of drugs with their welfare checks, and who are abusing a program that’s meant to help people that are struggling.

Also, I don’t know about you, but I cannot stand when the media, which is liberal leaning (in case you didn’t know), decides to add little jabs here and there. For example, the link to the story of this situation is “http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_lt_gov_don_t_help_the_poor“. U.S. lieutenant governor: don’t help the poor. That’s how I read it. How about you? Is that what he said? NO. What in the bloody hell is wrong with the person who wrote that link?  Better yet, how about in the quote, the added exclamation point in the third sentence. Do you really think he said in a thunderous roar, “BECAUSE THEY BREED!”  He’s made to sound like Hitler, for God’s sake.

And are people actually influenced by this? Are there actually people reading this at home going, “Oh my God! What a terrible person this guy is! He said that the people on welfare are animals, and that the poor shouldn’t be helped!” Now that I’ve written this last sentence, I realize the sad truth… There are people like this. They live among us. They vote. Scary.

Now, I’m obviously just picking on liberals here. Partly because it’s just easy, but also partly because that’s who’s blowing this story out of proportion. I have a lot of liberal friends, and in all honesty, both sides are guilty of this stupidity at one point or another. But for now, I’m picking on liberals. Go hug a tree, hippie. Preferably one that’s in the process of being cut down.

In an effort to have more of a conversation (instead of me posting, and you not reading), I’m going to start to ask a question at the end of each post.

What’s your take on this story? Do you agree with the way that this was posted, or do you think it was taken a teensy bit out of context?

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So, I Just Got a $1,200 Oil Bill.

Sweat Shop Owners?

I came home on my lunch break yesterday in a chipper mood, to say the least! Happy happy joy joy! My fiancée and I are cutting back on the spending, eating at home more, and generally, I’m just happier. Then, I decided to check the mail. In much the same way that dipping my scrotum in honey and taunting a bear, naked would be–this proved to be a bad idea. Lo and behold, amid the magazines and junk mail stood (yes stood), a big middle finger to saving money–my oil bill. Somehow, the person who had delivered my oil wants me to believe that we’ve used 369.7 gallons–in one month. My whole fucking neighborhood doesn’t use 370 gallons of oil in a month. Last month we used 180 gallons. This past month, we’ve used the fireplace more and have turned the thermostat down to around 64° F (that’s 18° C, for all my European readers out there) almost every night. So how am I to believe that I’ve used double the amount of oil this month than last?

I’ve come up with a few theories:

1. Our dogs are running a sweat shop out of our house during the day, and need to keep the heat around 85° F when we’re not home to keep all the kids working. I know Jackson. He’s definitely enough of an asshole to run a sweat shop. There are a few things that support this theory. I noticed a tiny megaphone lying on the floor the other day. There was what looked to be a small Asian boy running away from the general direction of our house as I was coming home yesterday. Lastly,  I’ve also started to see boxes of various merchandise in our basement.

2. Our animals (2 dogs, a cat, and a rabbit) are practicing bikram yoga during the day. Things to support this theory? Most of the merchandise I see lying around the house are yoga mats. The small Asian boy might have been their yogi, and the megaphone could have been used for instruction.

3. When they filled up the tank last month, they neglected to tell me that they added a “go-fuck-yourself” valve, which acts as both an oil and money siphon. This would explain a lot.

4. Global Warming. Yea, doesn’t make sense to me either (global warming is bullshit anyway), but everyone seems to be blaming everything on global warming. If this is true, I want my money from Al Gore.

I’m going to call the oil company today, and try to help them understand that I’m not generating electricity or running a plastic toy manufacturing company, so there’s no way that I could have used that much oil. We’ll see what they say.

I’ll keep you posted.

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Driving is a Privilege, Not a Right.

Now that's a safety belt.

There are an increasing number of people that are getting me to believe that a driver’s test should be retaken every other week. There are also an increasing number of people that should be shot have their licenses revoked. I’m coming to the realization that there are four types of drivers. Those that drive well about 98% of the time, with the occasional slip-up. Those that drive well about 75% of the time, but aren’t observant enough. Idiots. And old people. That’s it… 98%, 75%, idiots, and old people. That pretty much sums it all up. Everybody thinks that they’re the 98%, but that’s like discovering you’re related to Jesus… you’re probably not. Most people are the 75%. I’m going to spend the remainder of this post talking about the other two.

Idiots

Idiots are the bane of my existence (in all facets of my life, really). They encompass a large group of drivers. The guy who drives the beat up ’89 Honda Civic with one chrome rim (which, incidentally costs as much as the car itself), who thinks he’s in a Ferrari–and drives as such. Now I’m not one to wish harm on anyone, but I do wish that he’d flip his car 30 or so times take a defensive driving class.

How about the “Helen Keller” driver? The light turned green forty-five seconds ago! And I’ve been beeping for the last forty! You fucking MORON silly goose!

Or the “I have to (insert morning ritual here) in the car, otherwise I won’t get to work on time” driver. News flash… No one cares. Believe me. As proof that no one cares tomorrow morning don’t shave, put on make-up, eat, etc. See if anyone says a goddamn word to you. If they do, feel free to tell me, and I will then not care more.

Last, but certainly not least–my favorite, the “four-foot-nine-inch tall woman in a GIGANTIC FUCKING SUV” driver. I have to be honest with you. It’s new to me to see all of these 5 foot tall women, who transport heavy machinery. I’ve never seen that before. They do transport heavy machinery, don’t they? I’d assume that’s the only reason you need the Cadillac Escalade ESV, right? To transport back-hoes, bulldozers, and such? Surely, it’s not just to go food shopping? And then to pick up little Timmy, and his 3 friends from soccer practice? Because, well, that’d just be silly. How could you see over the steering wheel? How could you possibly judge distances, with your stature? How could you possibly know that there’s a car next to you when you change lanes? Exactly.

Old People

Don’t get me wrong–I love elderly people. I just don’t love being in a car next to their Mercury Grand Marquis. Old Pappy just doesn’t have to reflexes that he once did to, you know, pay attention to anything. I’m very lenient with older folks when I’m driving. I tend to not yell as much, because I understand that they’re old. Heck, you’re going to have to pry my license from my cold dead hands.

Speaking old people, I remember this one story my parents told me about my grandmother (God rest her soul)… When she was around 75 or so years old (I was around 3), she went out to a New Year’s Eve party. She drove, of course (a ’77 Dodge Dart, aka ‘The Tank’). She came home, with this guy following her in his car. She starting banging on my parents apartment door (we lived upstairs from her at the time), screaming about this guy who was going to kill her! Naturally, my dad came outside to see what the problem was.  Standing there was this Jamaican guy with this ridiculously banged up ’83 Toyota Tercel, and my grandmother–drunk as Ted Kennedy on a bridge. Long story short, the guy was trying to say that my grandmother hit his car, and he wanted $500 for the damages. My dad told him to go to hell. There really was no point to this story in the context of my post, but my grandmother was a ridiculously awesome person, and you are now better for having heard a story about her.

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