Hello, to all five of you that still frequent this dark corner of the interwebs… how have you been? I’ve been fantabie-doosie. Let’s get to the topic at hand, shall we?
For as long as I can remember, the American political system has been a joke. Not a funny, haha type of joke — more like a “clown gets hit by truck carrying confetti and balloons” kind of joke. Ironic, sad, and hilarious all wrapped up into one Bozo-sized mutilated ball. The only issue with this is–being our political system–it directly affects every single person, not only in the US, but around the world (because we’re the snazzy dresser of the western hemisphere). But lately, this joke has gotten a lot less funny, and a lot more annoying. So I will digress into some of my annoyances with the current set of
I don’t want to get sued, so I’m not going to use real names here, but between the outright corruption and flip flopping of notable names such as Millary Swinton and Fonald Drump — to the absolute incompetence of Men Darson and Tim Sebb. I feel like this is a never-ending cavalcade of buffoonery — that literally ends with one of them running the goddamn country?! Wrap your head around that for a second, if you’ve never actually stopped and considered it… (to paraphrase Christmas Vacation) — One of these “cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shits” will be running one of the most powerful countries in the world. That is akin to voting for a 2-year old to run Intel, or Oprah to run Jenny Craig (big Oprah, not little Oprah — I don’t trust little Oprah) — it’s stupid!
There are a lot of differences between the US now from its founding days, but I do think that there are some things that can be taken from then that still hold true now — all early “politicians” weren’t politicians at all — they were scientists and engineers, renaissance men, statesmen, etc. Not one was a “career politician”. There need to be better pre-requisites to running for president — an IQ test for example. I’m sorry, but you can’t be Pinky and expect to be president… you have to at least be Brain (“What are we doing tonight, Brain?” “The same thing we do every night, Pinky–run for President of the United States of America). Also, you should be required to pass a polygraph test — One lie and you’re OUT. Lastly, and this is just for fun (sort of) — you shouldn’t resemble a muppet in any way, shape, or form (I’m looking at you Lincoln Chaffee and Ted Cruz). No, but seriously — if you resemble a muppet, please get the fuck out of here.
In the end, we’re probably screwed either way because corruption begets corruption, and we’re WAY past the point of no return in that department, so we might as well get a little weird with it while we can. I’m not going to tell you who I’m going to vote for, because you shouldn’t give a shit, just like I don’t give a shit who you’re going to vote for. Just vote for the person who you think best personifies how you think this country should be run (that’s a scary thought in itself for about half of America — yikes). I will leave you with this (which I completely feel like is in the Bible somewhere)…
So I say unto you — please use the most common of sense, when you vote — for it comes with it, a great responsibility. Good luck, don’t fuck this up, and may God have mercy on us all.